“Don’t rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters with all purity.”
Paul now moves from how Timothy was to conduct his personal life to how he was to treat the individuals who make up the church. Earlier in the letter, Paul had written this. “But if I should be delayed, I have written so that you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth” (3:15). He calls the church “God’s household.” And notice that the way he tells Timothy to handle each group of people is like he would members of his own household. Andreas J. Köstenberger points out in his commentary, 1-2 Timothy & Titus, “The structure is straightforward, moving from older to younger and from male to female, in keeping with the honor that was due in ancient culture to older persons and to men in a patriarchal society. Hence the pattern followed is (1) (a)older men; (b)younger men; (2) (a)older women; (b)younger women.”
We will start with older men. Paul says, “Don’t rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father…” The Greek translation of older man is ‘presbyteros.’ The plural of this word is translated as elders (as seen in chapter 4, verse 14). The KJV translates it here as ‘elder,’ but it is not referring to the office of overseer here, so most other translations use the phrase ‘older man’ to contrast with the younger men Paul moves to next. The reason that I bring this up is that some false teachers use the King James version of this verse to claim that no one is allowed to rebuke or bring charges against a leader. That is clearly not what this verse teaches.
Paul tells Timothy that he is to exhort the older men in the church like he would his father. He is to treat them with respect and honor. In his online Enduring Word commentary, David Guzik writes, “Any godly person will show a deference to those who are aged. “You shall rise before the gray-headed and honor the presence of an old man, and fear your God: I am the LORD” (Leviticus 19:32).” The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, if it is found in the way of righteousness” (Proverbs 16:31). The command was not that Timothy must never rebuke older men, but that he was not to strike at people with an overly harsh rebuke.
Paul moves on to tell Timothy he is to treat younger men as his brothers. In a family relationship, the way brothers treat each other is different than the way they would treat their father. They can be more direct with each other. These men are likely to be Timothy’s contemporaries, given the verse in chapter 4 (Don’t let anyone despise your youth…) and the fact that he was to treat them as brothers. Michael Eaton, in The Branch Exposition of the Bible: a Preacher’s Commentary of the New Testament, writes, “He is more spiritually aware than they are. He is a traveling companion of the Apostle Paul and they are not. Yet he must not be distant from the other young men in the house churches of Ephesus. He must get to know them and give them instruction as brother to brother.”
Paul then tells Timothy that he is to treat older women as he would his own mother. Paul will address the treatment of widows in detail in the next verses, but here he tells Timothy that all older women deserve the respect that one would show their own mother. In today’s Western culture, we have lost the impact that Paul’s statement had. Many of the younger generation no longer show the respect that was once reserved for those with more age and experience. Children are cutting off contact with their parents. They do not want to listen to anyone but their peers. They are “wise in their own eyes” as Proverbs describes. But this is not how we as Christians are to act. Paul restates the fifth Commandment in his letter to the Ephesians. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, because this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land” (6:1-3). In the same way we show honor to our mothers, we should honor the older women in our churches.
Lastly, Paul tells Timothy that he is to treat the younger women as sisters with all purity. Can you imagine how much grief could be avoided if only pastors and church leaders all abided by this one rule? Right now, (and I am sure whenever you are reading this) there is at least one scandalous headline of a celebrity pastor who has fallen into sexual sin. Safeguards must be in place when a pastor is to minister to women. Köstenberger puts it this way. “Such purity in relationships with the opposite sex isn’t a function of legalistic rules or dos and don’ts but a matter of the heart. Pure devotion to Christ-and devotion to one’s wife in the case of married church leaders-is the best safeguard against improper relationships with the opposite sex.”
In another letter to Titus, Paul tells the older women that they are to be reverent in their behavior. He goes on to say, “In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slaves to excessive drinking. They are to teach what is good,so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children,to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God’s word will not be slandered” (2:3-5). One way to avoid improper relationships with the opposite sex is for pastors to hand over the job of counseling and teaching of younger women to the older women of the church, as Paul instructs here in Titus.
These two verses serve as the introduction for the verses that follow. Paul will describe how Timothy is to care for two different groups in the church: widows and elders. My next blog post will be on widows, and which ones the church should be supporting.
Grace be with you!
Abundant Joy 