“Command this also, so that they will be above reproach. But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
Verses 7 and 8 are directed to the families of the widows in the church. Before a widow is put on the list of ones to be cared for by the church, it must be determined first if she has family to care for her. Paul says this. “Command this also, so that they will be above reproach.” Remember verse 4 where Paul writes, “But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them learn to practice godliness toward their own family first and to repay their parents, for this pleases God.” Paul now tells Timothy to command them to care for their family members.
Paul then goes on with harsh words for those not willing to shoulder the responsibility of providing for widows in their own family. “But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
Even unbelievers in those days cared for their family members. I found the following information in a commentary by Albert Barnes from 1884. “This was one of the great laws of nature written on their hearts, and a law which they felt bound to obey. Few things were inculcated more constantly by heathen moralists than this duty. Galgacus, in Tacitus, says, ‘Nature dictates that to everyone, his own relatives should be most dear.’ Cicero says, ‘Every man should take care of his own family’…” Barnes goes on to give other examples and to explain that Christians should not be inferior to unbelievers in any virtue. He writes that Christians “ought never to give occasion to an enemy of the gospel to point to a man of the world and say, ‘there is one who surpasses you in any virtue!’”
It should be the opposite. Peter writes in his first letter, “Conduct yourselves honorably among the Gentiles, so that when they slander you as evildoers, they will observe your good works and will glorify God on the day he visits” (2:12). We are to care for our own family, first, because God commands it (as I wrote about in my last posts) and, second, to be an example to the world around us.
You might be asking yourself, how does this apply today? We don’t have widow lists, and most people have Social Security and Medicare to take care of their needs. I would answer that we still need to care for our older people (both widows and widowers) and especially those in our churches. There are two issues on which I think the church should take a stand.
The first issue that came to my mind is euthanasia. More states in the United States are pushing for this, and it is legal in several countries. Two countries with legalized suicide are Canada and the Netherlands. Data shows that over 5% of all their deaths is due to “assistance in dying.” For 2024, Health Canada reported that 16,499 Canadians received Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) which is about 1 out of every 20 deaths. The median age of the recipients was 77.9 years. In the Netherlands, since euthanasia was legalized in 2002, deaths from this practice have risen from 1900 (1.3% of all deaths) to in 2025, 10,341 (6% of all deaths). The largest increases have been for people in their 70s and 80s. In both countries, the eligibility requirements have continued to broaden, allowing more people to qualify for assistance in dying than when it was first introduced.
Again, you may be wondering what this has to do with the church and its treatment of older people. Lifeway Research did a study on the American Views on Assisted Suicide. Its findings were similar to recent Gallup and Pew Research polls. 49% of Protestants think that physicians should be able to assist with the suicide of terminally ill patients. When it is narrowed down to people who hold evangelical beliefs, it drops to 39%. These numbers are shocking to me. God is the one who has numbered our days. Gotquestions.org explains, “Death is a natural occurrence. Sometimes God allows a person to suffer for a long time before death occurs; other times, a person’s suffering is cut short. No one enjoys suffering, but that does not make it right to determine that a person should die. Often, God’s purposes are made known to suffering.” We have become afraid of suffering, even though the Bible clearly tells us that in this life, we will suffer.
As Christians, this is an opportunity to show the world what it looks like to care for our older generation. Our parents should not be living their last days alone. Assisted suicide should not even be an option. Yes, it is difficult to walk through this with our aging parents. But this is one of the ways we honor them. I have used this quote before, and it is appropriate to use it here. Theologian Stanley Hauerwas says this. “In 100 years, if Christians are identified as those who do not kill their children or their elderly, we will have done something right.”
The second issue that I see permeating society and infiltrating the church is the trend for adult children to cut off contact with their parents. I have seen numbers anywhere from 10 to 30% of Millennials and Gen. Z children deciding to break off contact with one or more family members, and I have seen this happen with some of my church friends. The reasons given are varied. Very rarely I will read of a reason where I can understand separation for safety’s sake, but the Bible is clear about honoring one’s parents. This current trend of cutting off contact because of disagreement is dishonoring to one’s parents. Verse 8 is about providing for widows, but I think we can expand this to caring for our parents. I would argue that if we cut them off because we disagree with them or because we are angry at how they raised us, then we have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever. Paul will write about people like this in his second letter to Timothy. “But know this: Hard times will come in the last days. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, proud, demeaning, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, without love for what is good, traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to the form of godliness but denying its power. Avoid these people” (2 Timothy 3:1-5). We do not want to be those people!
We will move on to the actual qualifications for the widows in my next blog post. I am going to leave you with this. “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith” (Galatians 6:10).
Grace be with you!
Abundant Joy 